So you’re walking home from the office, minding your own business, when a mugger reaches out and pulls you into a dark alley.
“Gimme your wallet!” he says.
You hand over your wallet, but first you remove a certain black credit card. “These are all self-explanatory,” you tell your assailant, “but this one’s a little different. No information on the face, see? Technology these days, huh? Here, I’ll show you how to find it.”
“Hurry up,” the mugger says, menacingly, while looking around in a stereotypical “mugger” sort of way.
You unfold your credit card like a piece of origami, revealing it to be not a card at all but a vicious little combat knife. You charge forward and, not being the killing sort, bury the blade somewhere between the guy’s deltoid and pectoral muscles. A quick left hook sends him to the ground. You seize your wallet, refold your knife and tuck it away again. Then you slip triumphantly back into the night, leaving the mugger a few dollars to pay for his taxi to the hospital.
These days, designers have come up with all sorts of credit card-sized gadgets that you can carry around in your wallet. And while a knife disguised as a black card seems like something out of a sci-fi novel, it’s really just the tip of the iceberg. Here are some of the coolest devices ever made to fit into a credit card pouch.
1) The CardSharp. The CardSharp is so much more than a knife disguised as a credit card. It’s an awesome knife disguised as a credit card. Produced by wallet-tech company Iain Sinclair, the CardSharp is made of high-quality Teflon-coated surgical steel. This makes it lighter, stronger and sharper than any pocket knife you’re currently carrying. Plus the fact that it folds into a flat rectangle in three motions is pretty cool. At only $25 a pop, it’s the greatest bargain in stabbing technology to ever hit the market.
2) Credit Card Cutlery. No fork? No problem. As long as you’re carrying one of Devon Briggs’s special cards, you’ll never be without this precious utensil. Just take the card out of your wallet and fold it in half to reveal fully functioning fork prongs. The best part about these cutlery cards – besides the fact that they’re disposable and biodegradable – is that they can be mass-produced and custom-branded. They’re a great marketing tool for anyone who works in the food industry.
3) The Credit Card Light Bulb. The mad scientists over at ThinkGeek have devised a nifty little alternative to the conventional portable light. The credit card light bulb resembles a flat incandescent bulb situated inside a plastic card. When you need to fight off the dark, simply flip the bulb up and you’ve suddenly got a source of light, complete with its very own stand. It’s great for reading, working and setting the mood when you don’t have any tea light candles on you. As the product description says, “You’ll wonder how you lived without one.”
4) The Raspberry Pi. The diminutive Raspberry Pi may not look like any computer you’ve ever used, but that doesn’t make it any less incredible. The credit card-sized device is made to be the ultimate portable computer. Plug it into your television and a keyboard and you can run programs and games, play HD video and browse the Internet just like you can with a standard desktop. The Model B computer will give you expandable SD memory, 256MB of RAM, 2 USB ports and an Ethernet port for only $35.
Your wallet is so much more than a pouch for your cash and credit cards. It’s a veritable utility belt. The newest generation of card-sized gadgets can transform that leather pouch into a weapon, a night light, a fork and so much more. At the rate that portable technology is advancing, the sky really is the limit. Heck, they even have a credit-card sized video camera already. Now the only thing we need to do is figure out a way to purchase all of these card-sized devices without maxing out our actual credit cards in the process…